Friday, July 17, 2009

Living Water!

Have you considered just how many sentient species there are in the world? There are people, ants, crispy fried duck, bacteria, plants. Millions of thinking, living, feeling things.

Well scientists have discovered another one to add to the list: water.
By studying spa/spring/mineral water scientists have discovered that mineral water is a social, living being. They have discovered that water enjoys the company of other water and forms a very strong bond between water from the same source.

This astounding conclusion was reached after carefully studying the rate at which water was produced by a well-known spring and the rate at which it was bottled and sold to vegetarians. They deduced that if water was not sentient and always made its way back to its origins in order to be reunited with the other bits of water it had left behind it would have meant that the well-known spring would have dried up 30 years ago.

Thus the water that you consume carefully makes its way back, against great odds, to its source to be reunited and rebottled and reconsumed by another vegetarian.

Monday, July 06, 2009

Tube Design

I don't know if you have noticed. But, during rush hour you will see a few smartly dressed people all congregating in clumps and generally causing increased stress and confusion. Have you seen these people? They're the ones that cut in-front of you and push you into much smaller spaces.

Well, these people have been scientifically designed and placed there by the various transport companies in order to improve your public-transport experience. In addition, the public transport nerve-centre can fine-tune the number of lost, broken, depressed public transport machines to enhance the experience.