Friday, September 01, 2006

Trash conservation...

Some countries are getting rather worried about the amount of trash (or rubbish to the non-technical) we refuseniks are generating. Well, I've been searching around and have found the following article.

Scientists have recently performed a large and detailed simulation on the effect of increased trash production and burial in land-fill sites. The results show that the land-mass increases roughly as the square root of the number of people occupying the land. Which means, in small countries like the USA and Russia that we generate enough material to increase the land mass to accomodate the influx of people into that country alleviating the space crisis and pressure on house prices.

Their simulations also reveal that the new land mass would be lighter than the existing land mass (by virtue of the high non-degradable plastic content) allowing the new land mass to rise with rising ocean levels. This technique is currently being used in Venice (or Venus to the non-technical) where huge amounts of non-degradable trash from China are being dumped. We are already seeing the benefits: Venice has risen by approximately the length of Berlusconi's nose in one year.

In a related piece of research archeologists have unrefutable evidence that Siberia and the mid-west of the USA are the direct result of bronze-age and iron-age landfill sites.

We have to be thankful that large supermarkets (shoporamas to the non-technical) are increasing the amount of packaging (by packaging the packaging) and we have to be thankful that the governments will be asking us to pay more to dispose of the packaging's packaging as we are really securing our country for our future consumers.

With my rubbish I for one am building a new extension to lower Russia. What are you doing to help?


Mr D said...

Hello hello!!

I am glad to have finally found this really objective and comprehensive source of information. At last, I think I'll start understanding the world affairs, thanks to The teacup!

Rubbish-wise, I am pilling it all up on my balcony in the hope of developping trash-fusion energy, a gravity activated source of renewable energy that is getting more and more popular, here in ice-cold Qu├ębec! :-)

steacup said...

Ah yes.It is well known that empty containers can spontaneously combust when exposed to air. You need to be a little careful as shoes are the output of trash fusion. If the composition of trash is ok then you get pairs. If it's imbalanced you'll end up with all left or all right shoes.