Tuesday, March 02, 2010

So, where has all this obesity come from then?

Have you noticed in the press that there appears to be an epidemic of obesity. People are getting larger. There's no getting away from it. But, where is all this obesity coming from? You could be mistaken for thinking that all this obese stuff is coming from the planet and the planet is getting smaller. Far from it! In fact the planet is also getting obese. I have studied this and can prove that the cost of traveling on the public transport from my home to where I work takes (a) longer, and is (b) more expensive. Since, by natural law, the price of travel can never go up and, also by natural law, the time taken to get from my house to work is a constant the only inescapable conclusion is that the distance from home to work has increased which logically means that the planet is increasing. And it's increasing, by my calculations by roughly 10% per year!

So, if all this obesity stuff isn't coming from the Earth then where is it coming from??

According to my calculations it's coming from the Universe. The Earth apparently has a great appetite for something called Dark Matter which it is consuming at rough 10% per year - which also explains why it's difficult to find this Dark Matter out there. Clearly, at some point the Earth will run out of Dark Matter and either (a) slim down, or (b) create an appetite for something else.

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